Hi Katie & NorCal
I understand you both. I am sure many folks here do. It is hard to express via text sometimes and misunderstandings are normal. I don't feel that anyone here is too quick to feel offended. In fact, I get this older-sibling feel from a lot of people in that they are simply offering advice and looking out for everyone.
I am 31 and single. I have been so for quite some time. My lat relationship left me very, very wounded. It was the first time that I started wondering if I had a drinking problem. The issues were so cyclical that, even looking back now, I just kinda shake my head and wonder why. My partner wasn't a healthy choice for me... this is evident now. Though, at the time, I was blinded and drinking, because of pain and vulnerability, didn't help. Anyways, I haven't been able to be in a relationship since. It is clear to me that I have a problem feeling vulnerable and open to someone now... alcohol has, in the past, been there for numb that.
What it boils down to, for me, is that I'd much rather be alone and have periods of loneliness than in a relationship that isn't 100% right and be drunk to help ease issues/pain. Someone else said it and I will echo their words: a relationship is the last thing you need right now. Friendship, totally -- a healthy clan of buddies is always good. Though, a lover, partner, whatever-you-wanna-call-it, might not be the best at this point in your life.
Address the pain that might linger, see where it hurts within you, make yourself whole and self-sustained!