I love Garfield! I thought he was so cool when I was little and loved reading the comics. Used to draw pictures of him all of the time. I loved lasagna because of him.
Well that damn dog started barking at 1 am. Right when I was starting to fall asleep. I'm going to have to get my husband to do something about that. I try not to hate the dog because it is not the animals fault, but boy does it **** me off. I found out it doesn't even belong to the guy whose yard the pen is in. It belongs to his son who lives down the street. Our other neighbor has threatened to call the police but hasn't. He is old and wears a hearing aid, and it still disturbs him. As far as I can tell it is in the pen 24/7. No wonder it barks.
OK I'm drinking coffee and I got a new ipad case with a keyboard so I'm typing fast.
First thing I hear this morning coming from the living room "well are we going to go or sit around all day?"
Obvs I didn't go. In laws went and my son went with them. Just me and little girl right now. I cannot wait until husband gets home!!!! Even though he's probably going to go to sleep when he gets home because he was up until 4am doing work.
OK time to unleash. I have been exceedingly worried that I have a brain tumor. Yesterday especially. I had a headache in the back of my head off an on, I usually only get them in the front, and I don't get headaches often. An hour didn't pass without me worrying about it. I wrote about it on here quite a few times over the past few days but always deleted it. I also have been getting a pressure on one side of my head. But the thing is, it seems to get worse when I think about it. So I think it could just be anxiety or stress. I didn't feel this reasonable yesterday. Yesterday I was seriously convinced at times. To be honest, I have worried about brain tumors frequently over the past couple of years and if I am truly truly honest with myself...it's always when I'm going through a tough time in my life. I do not know why. Maybe stress can cause pressure build up in the head.
Yes, I know that I need to go to a doctor if nothing else to put my mind at ease. But either I am crazy or I really do have a brain tumor. And I can't deal with either of those possibilities at this moment in time.
OK I finally got that off my chest. Can't talk to anyone else about this because I already have and either I am told that I am a hypochondriac or "just go to the doctor already". The sensible part of me knows that I am a hypochondriac but it doesn't make it any less scary.
Well today I feel great! I mean physically I am a bit tired, but man I have been excited about life and getting healthy. More and more each day, the future seems brighter. I'm not merely talking about quitting drinking. Quitting drinking is just one of the many steps I am taking to improve my quality of life. I am striving to be my best self. I know now that I cannot reach that with alcohol in my life.
I've decided to keep a small blank journal in the drawer of my night stand. It is my full intention to leave this journal blank forever, for it's sole purpose will be to record any setbacks with the date and details. It is the ugliest little notebook with bright smiley faces that I just happened to have. It will be a reminder that I am holding myself accountable for my actions.