Originally Posted by
Gottalife 
AA is not a social club Katie, it's sole purpose is to help people recover from the killer disease of alcoholism.
Having said that, there are plenty of lonely needy people in AA. The odds of getting into a realtionship are very good. But the goods are very odd.
Originally Posted by
Katie88 I understand AA is not a social group. That wasn't what I meant. Sorry if i offended you.
Originally Posted by
Katie88 But I must say, that kind of attitude is exactly why I haven't gone to AA yet. Of course it is not a social club, but a huge part of recovery is having peer/sponsor support. It is hard to recover alone.
Also, I never said I was going into AA to find a significant other. Nor do I present as "needy and lonely" in any type of situation. So I don't appreciate the accusations. And I will be careful about expressing my emotions on SR in the future if making myself vulnerable will lead to this kind of misunderstanding.
Hi Katie,
I don't think you offended Gottalife and I don't believe he was accusing you of treating AA as a social club nor you being needy and lonely. He was merely warning you to be careful when it comes to relationships and AA. When I was in a 30 day program they warned us time and time again to avoid romantic relationships for at least a year after sobriety (though I don't know how long you have been sober). Wether or not recovering addicts chose to follow this is up to them. He just didn't want you to start going to AA and let your focus drift from the main goal of AA - sobriety. Gottalife wasn't saying you presented yourself as lonely and needy, merely that you will find many people like that in AA which can lead to a slippery slope into a relationship that might not be good for you.
Trust me, I am 28 and single. I know exactly how you feel. Most of my friends are married and having kids if they don't already have some. I was in an 7 year relationship with a woman who broke my heart more than once. Its been over two years since I left her and kicked her out. But the string of weak relationships I've had in the two some years since has left me feeling just like you. More than one of them just used me. I finally stopped dating women about 6 months ago after the last betrayal and honestly the sheer lonliness alone was what drove me deeper down the rabbit hole of alcoholism. Having struggled to get sober the last 6 months, I found the lonliness almost unbearable sober. But I realized working on myself is the best way to find the right girl for me some day. I haven't been clean long at all, am still out of shape, and am still struggling with depression and the feeling of lonliness day in and day out.
I think in life, the harder you try and find someone, the worse luck you have. I think by focusing on yourself (exercise, hobbies, volunteer, AA) and trying to forget that you are single and lonely, you might find the right guy shows up right out of the blue.
Do you have pets? One thing that keeps me motivated and makes me feel less lonely is my dog. She is always there for me and keeps me sane. Anyway, don't get distraught over that comment and feel you need to restrain from showing emotion here. We are all here to help each other and most people here know far more than I do about this stuff, but I totally relate to what you have posted here in this thread. Give AA a try and meet some new sober people.