Originally Posted by
samseb5351 
When I consider things I consider them pragmatically, so abstinence isn't for me an achievement but a result of thinking about how I want to live.
.... I don't fear asking questions of myself and come at things for the most part from a Neutral stance I guess you could call it Curious Contemplation.
This kind of approach is open, fresh, cool and calm. When a thought comes to mind about something like Moderation Management, I try and look at it from all angles I do some research (thanks google) I become aware of my initial re-coil to the idea of MM and see how Abstinence Only is kind of indoctrinated into my psyche....
... being totally honest the worst case scenario is also the most likely outcome. In other words I have little or no evidence that moderation has ever worked....
Therefore I have chosen abstinence because I like Living and like Life clear of self inflicted drama and suffering.
Thank you for that insight, Samseb. We seem to think a fair bit alike. I also view this issue pragmatically, and I love the way you put it, "...so abstinence isn't for me an achievement but a result of thinking about how I want to live."
I have never looked at my "sobriety" as an achievement, and I put it in quotations marks because I do not wear it like a label. I snidely call myself an "Advanced Nephalist" knowing full well that few will know what I mean without looking it up.
I'll have to admit that I was rather surprised at myself when I became a Cold Duck "addict" because I really did not like the taste of alcohol at all when first introduced to it, and my first adventures with alcohol included drinking vast quantities on the occasional weekend and barfing for the next day with a pounding migraine, then not drinking at all for weeks on end. It took a diligent effort at nightly drinking for several years before I could "achieve" that second bottle a night.
I now view my choice to be a non-drinker as an actual choice. I am around alcohol frequently enough to "test" myself and I just don't feel like drinking. I was given a glass of peach colored punch at my son's wedding and took a sip before I realized it was alcohol. I recognized the taste of rum right away, and it sort of burned on the way down. It was not pleasant and I set the glass down without drinking any more of it. I realized that the "bad" taste would not remain bad for long if I kept going.
My choice is rational and calm, and there is no struggle involved. I don't recall really "struggling" when I quit drinking to begin with. It was more an annoying "pull" to drink, and I was annoyed at myself that it was happening to me. I made a decision not to drink any longer, and that was that. Granted, I had "tried" to quit numerous other times over the years, but I just did not care enough to be serious about not drinking until I'd just had enough and finally took a stand.
The part you said about "... being totally honest the worst case scenario is also the most likely outcome. In other words I have little or no evidence that moderation has ever worked...." is what rings the most true for me.
Why tempt fate when my life is not a struggle with a substance right now? So, I choose NOT to.
Thanks for your refreshing, and logical post.
FT