I lost all of my close friends when I was using heavily. It wasn't because they didn't care it was because they were frustrated and couldn't watch me hurt myself anymore. I cleaned myself up and slowly they came back. Unfortunately I slipped up a little and I am back to day 2, but my friends are still with me now. Once I was clean I was able to talk to them and they understood me better sot hey are here for me now, but I expect if I slip back out of control they won't be here for long. Do this for you and not them. This may sound harsh, but maybe you need new friends that understand you and are more supportive, but you have to get yourself straight in the head and out of the pity pot. I lived in the pity pot a long time and it gets you absolutely nowhere. You just stay stuck in misery. PLEASe don't do anything silly. Your worth more than that don't you think?