Hi Marian. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time since your breakup. I'm not sure what to say here. You seem like you're very lonely and look to almost everyone you meet to fill that void. And when no one fills it to your expectations, you go back to your ex hoping to one day be able to replace him with someone better. I don't see that pattern ever turning out well for you and it's sad. You said you're reading books about emotional dependence - have you considered counselling to work through these issues? One of the best things I did after my separation was counselling and Al-Anon.