The best thing you can do for yourself and this relationship is to sacrifice alcohol. It is robbing you of so very much. You're only hope in possibly salvaging the relationship is doing the work you know you must. Much greatness can be achieved in sobriety...a love relationship is beautiful bonus.
I hope you are planning to this work of being a better man...for yourself...just as much as for the relationship.
I hope you want more for yourself and this life...and the woman you love.