Hey, Marie. My husband has watched me struggle with my alcoholism and my sobriety. I made him many promises with the best intentions. I wanted to get sober and I wanted him to know how much this meant to me. I needed him to know that I was changing but it just wasn't that simple. I promised to not drink...I drank. I promised him I wouldn't hide a relapse...I hid them for as long as I could. I promised him I'd go to a meeting...then I made excuses as to why I "couldn't" go. So many good intentions, so many promises and so many disappointments.
Eventually, I learned that once I told my husband that I accepted that I was an alcoholic and had to change, that was it. No promises now, just actions. If he asks questions, I answer them honestly. I let him know my intentions but if I'm not certain about something, I don't make him a promise I'm not 100% sure I will fulfill.
I've found great help both here on SR and in AA. I have an active homegroup, a sponsor, a service position and I'm working the 12 steps with my sponsor. I also have a women's group that I absolutely love. I think every woman in AA should check out a women's meeting if one is available. It's an absolutely amazing experience.
I hope you find the support you're looking for here. Sobriety is a wonderful gift to give yourself and the serenity you can gain will spread to everyone whose life you touch.