Hi Marie, I've done it endless of times, woke up wondering, loss of memory with the booze, good or bad, both, I cringe if I did remember how I behaved and go around in embarrassment for a few days if I don't remember, then when I think I had it in control, wham! I did it again.
It can be a struggle staying sober, the lure of alcohol can be too great, but the benefits of sobriety far outweighs the few hours I remembered when I drank before I passed out on the sofa. It's not a magic trick, I fear, just willpower and a day at a time.
Try not to think of life without alcohol, just get through each day and you find it does get easier, life still through problems at us but we can deal with them soberly, not putting our head in the sand.