Maybe I don't know what I am talking about, but here it is anyway.
First, thanks for sharing. Second, you mention scaring that others notice. People will notice such things, but when they get to know YOU those external things disappear. Last and to need more important, if your friends are saying "just have one drink" even though you are saying you don't want to, they are not your friends! Get new friends.
Get new interests doing things that don't revolve around alcohol.
Work on developing yourself into the person you want to become.