My husband said the same thing to me that your wife said... just don't drink
They really don't get it. They can listen to you, read about it, educate themselves. That's about all they can do. He compares giving up cigarettes to my quitting drinking. Not sure he'll ever truly understand, and that's ok. What did help him the most was attending a presentation and lecture called The Broken Brain where a former addict explained addiction from a neuroscience angle. This helped us both tremendously.