Hi Grec and welcome.
Usually when bad things happened to me it usually had an involvement with alcohol. I and most people had/have a problem accepting that alcohol is a problem. I needed to accept the fact that I could not drink in safety and too often things, ME, went bad. I also had to learn that if I was honest with myself about MY drinking things would be easier.
An early realization I learned was if I didn’t have the first drink I would not have to get sober AGAIN!
BE WELL