Blossom, my thoughts are with you.
Originally Posted by
Blossom717 
Part of me feels wrong for feeling this way. Part of me says "about freakin' time"
When my wife accidently overdosed on prescription medication for her back pain and alcohol, I had a ton of confliction feelings. My take on it now is that feelings aren't wrong and no guilt should be attached to them. How they are handled is key.
I think you are handling them pretty good: sharing here with people who will understand and praying to your HP.