3 Week Tumble
Hello. This will be my first post. I've been a lurker for roughly 3 years or so, but never had the will or courage to actually sign up and post. I've struggled with addiction for many many years. I finally had my 'enough is enough' moment a few weeks ago.
I had exactly 21 days sober yesterday, I keep track with an app on my phone and it had begun being my new obsession. Then yesterday, something happend, I don't know what, but I just felt this urge, this need, that the right thing to do was get in my car and drive to the bar. It wasn't this 'I need a beer' feeling, it was just an overwhelming feeling that this was what I HAD to do, what was the RIGHT thing to do. So I did. I had 4 beers and 5 cigarettes, and felt as guilty as could be for every drag and sip I had.
I managed to get out after 4, which is definitely a good thing, because thats usually when I really start to put em down and follow up with even worse activities.
Anyway, I feel so dissappointed in myself. I can't believe I did it...again. Today I won't drink. I hope.
Thanks for listening.