I have worked so hard on myself, and still I get so depressed (especially when I have alone time to actually reflect so I can heal). I could easily ruin my life and avoid my issues by jumping into a relationship for comfort but I don't want to be in a relationship for that reason.. I am trying so hard to heal and be whole and although I make massive progress life just keeps on throwing obstacles at me. I am depressed that while I am doing this hard work my ExA is happy living in Lala land enjoying his life while I am at home staring at the wall everyday after I put my son to sleep. I hate this.. I hate this cycle so much. Help... when is this suffering going to stop tormenting me.