Iamthird, I understand where you are, and I am in a similar place. On the 4th of July it will be two years since I ran away from my then abusive alcoholic husband. It is triggering memories, especially of the horrible abuse before I left, and that sends me back into old cycles of feelings.
I have been reading Susan Anderson's book Journey from Abandonment to Healing, and it is timely and very helpful, insightful. You might like it too.
ShootingStar1