Lotus, I am glad you spoke to your son and had the courage to say to him what you did. I really feel your pain and hope that you had a good evening and a good day tomorrow. I am in the middle of the same thing, not letting my AD back home after using in my house and refusing an outstanding treatment center...she and her ABF are now homeless, supposedly waiting for rehab beds at places of their own choosing. She is not even IN a place yet and I am thinking about how I am going to handle her LEAVING, and not succeeding...It is a strange world we inhabit!
It is so incredibly hard--here they are, barely functioning adults, and so lost in something we parents are so powerless over influencing. My heart and prayers go out to you. Take care.