Difficult day
Got home after a busy shift and did my usual drive up the mountain with the dogs but that dreaded store on the way. Oh I hate that store, there is no easier way up to the top and I have to pass it. Lately I just pass it and forget about it soon after but today it would no let me go. I could see it, taste it and feel the frayed nerves being soothed by the numbing action. I texted a friend and asked them to talk me down. Instantly a "Don't Do it!" came back at me and I felt a little better. It still wore on me the whole trail and of course at the end I had to walk by another drunk's empty can. I literally stopped to stare at it for a few seconds. There is another way back down but it is further up and then around out west before heading back down. So I took the long way back and stopped for gas and coffee.
Upon getting back to the house I got a "what took you so long?" So I said I stopped for gas and coffee and she said. "Anything Else?" GRRR... 18 months in and she still thinks I will give in that easy. It's why I texted a friend, not her.
Oh well, I am fine and made it through the worst episode I have had in over 6 months. I am just reminded I can trust no one but myself to keep myself honest and of course the grace of one good friend who took the initiative to respond and strengthen my resolve at a very weak moment.
Another sober day on the menu, I hope yours is too.