Originally Posted by growpath

Not really sure where I am going to go with this thread but I promised myself if I ever felt like "giving up" I'd come here first.

I came here April 20th when I made the decision to give up alcohol after a verrrrryyyy long battle with it. I am not fooling myself saying it is not still a battle mostly bc I think about it every freaking day. But I have realized I can't drink alcohol, ever, period. Every single thing I have in my life depends on my sobriety. When I drink, nothing else matters but that next drink.

I guess you can say I didn't really "quit" I just straight surrendered. Alcohol pretty much defeated me and it literally stopped working. It hasn't been fun for years! I got to the point where suicide was the only thing I thought about when I drank. What scared me most is that maybe one day the voices would win. Funny thing is though the only way those voices stopped was when I stopped drinking.

Alcohol defeated me long ago but my addiction was still hanging on with whatever string of trickery it could to make me believe I would somehow get my drinking "under control". I wasted well over 5 years on that lie. It'll never happen I realized that 63 days ago. Well I realized that long ago but finally accepted that fact then.

I am having on of those "what's the f'n point days"....one of those "poor me days" I keep repeating to myself "get out of yourself...and tomorrow's a new day".... blah. I guess I need a friend....anyone? Today is day 63 sober for me. Things are going really well. I feel healthy, happy & content on not drinking most days BUT damn today sucks But just guess I need some people who can relate.