It's not at all self seeking and you're not making this all about you.
This is a thread for you to vent Jeni - to let off steam...It's healthy not self indulgent
I think you need to tell that negative self talk to 'talk to the hand'
As for work, can you delegate some stuff there or get a hand?
It's not weak or selfish or lazy for you to ask for help, either
Your father is battling a terminal disease...even if your feelings about him are ambivalent, this is obviously a life changing event you're struggling to deal with.
We all would.
Go easy on yourself Jeni - you don't have to solve or fix everything. It's ok to not know what to do next some days and it's more than ok to cry, I reckon.
D