I was married at 16 and after 34 years of a bad marriage, the kids grown, I got a divorce. I know where you are coming from. I spent four years getting to know myself, and I learned I liked choosing my own movie, dinner was good by myself, and I loved walking along the beach or going to the lake and walking my dog. Those were good years after I learned to be alone did not mean I was lonely. I hope you find some things you like to do by yourself. You don't need to be with someone to enjoy what you are doing.