Originally Posted by
lillamy 
Someone pointed out to me that "functioning alcoholics" keep it together for longer (like my ex did) -- but once things start unravel, they unravel at warp speed.
Boy did I see that. 18 years of pure high functioning heaven (insert sarcasm here due to abusive manipulative projecting alcoholic behaviors still getting worse over time)...then BAM. From HFA to lost job, lost wife and kids, added drug use, and no desire to get any of it back...in the blink of an eye. Literally. The blink of an eye. I thought he'd be HF forever, as I didn't think I saw a decline, though in hindsight I was becoming more forgiving and "fixing" regarding his behaviors, and while I never focused on how much he drank, that was increasing too. (Does it really matter if it's two glasses full of gin or three or four?) Never missed work, and knew where his bread was buttered.
So perhaps they just more often one day decide--I can't keep it up any more, I'm exhausted--and drop a charade that has gotten really big.
I posted elsewhere in the last day or so that X's dad and grandpa were "successful" HFAs, meaning they never fully unraveled. But their kids were set up for some ACOA issues and heading down those same paths-- so it doesn't make it harmless.
My two cents having watched that trainwreck!