I heard once on here. “A sewer line is functional but it is still full of crap”
I considered myself functional. I had a job, kids, home, car. I had no DUI, arrests or job loss.
At 42 I found myself with no relationship and the kids had grown up and moved out. I got what I always wanted to be left alone. To only worry about myself. I could do what I want, when I want and I could drink as much as I wanted when I wanted.
By 44 I was walking through the doors of AA. The kids and the relationship barely kept me afloat and when they were gone and I no longer had that responsibility, I went over the edge.
I was barely functioning. I was going to work but getting there was brutal. I would cry the entire way there. I was afraid to drive. After work I dashed right home. Other than work and a quick trip to the liquor/grocery store, I never left the house. I was working on complete isolation.
I am sure if I would have continued I would have eventually lost my job and then it would have spiraled more downhill.
My personal and emotional bottom came before the crash, some are not so lucky.