Thanks everyone, for the kind advice. As far as finances, "our" bank account is actually MY bank account. His name is not on it. Even if you take his addiction out of the equation he is terrible with money. He gives me his paycheck each week, and I deposit it into the account. He uses the card that goes with the account to buy whatever, gas, food etc. Lately, he's been asking for money, instead of letting me just deposit the whole check, which is a sure sign he is using. The only time he demands to take cash out himself, like he did yesterday, is when he's buying drugs, and it can't wait. Currently, he's working a lot of hours and can support his habit, but should his hours get cut, which can happen at anytime, then his habit gets in the way of paying bills. Unfortunately he is the breadwinner, and without financial support from him I couldn't stay in my home. I also don't have a lot of family support. We also have liens filed against our home, due to his unpaid medical debt, from when he had to be hospitalized years ago without insurance (this was not drug related). The liens mean we can't refinance and make selling the home more difficult.
Im trying to figure out boundaries. So far my only nonnegotiable thing is he has to stay on top of his mental health, and continue his medication. When he doesn't he becomes verbally abusive, and completely mentally unstable. At this point I can say if his addiction gets in the way of that, he's out. But so far that's all I got.