Hi Sadie,
Sorry you have to be here, but it's a great resource, with all the reading you can do about addiction and codependency. And real life stories.
Its good to understand that you are codependent, but not so easy to change! It takes time, and work, and determination on your part to be happy and live a healthy life. You and your little ones deserve that. Sounds like your hubby is not going to face facts until he is miserable enough.
Needingabreak's suggestion of 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beatty is really a good one. It is my go to source for comfort, when I feel trapped, or sad , or hopeless. It has helped countless folks. I think you would find a lot of good stuff there, for you.
There are also meetings you can go to, to share and find support from others.Al-anon is a good one. there are other meetings similar to that, probably in your area. It felt good to me to go and know I was not alone. You will find that here, too, but face to face is very comforting.
I hope you keep posting. We can help and we care. Take care of you today. You matter. Take a little baby step in a good direction, and when you see how good that feels, you will want to continue. Its horrible living a life directed by an addict.
hugs.