Hi atdawn - can I share what has just happened to me
Have a 3.5 y/o and 20 months old and wondered if they had been affected by AH behaviour - thought 3 y/o had been but nothing specific. As I have heard repeatedly on here being an A is a degenerative condition. My AH had never been violent toward me or them until recently. As 3's behaviour got more "annoying" he would get louder and the other day slammed his fist through her cupboard door in front of her.
He had a problem wanting sex all the time and it had become increasingly rougher and he had threatened to force me when I started to say No.
Told him I was leaving - wanted a break to sort my head out. Last weekend he waited til I was getting out of the shower then tried to rape me in the bedroom - while the kids were in the dining room eating breakfast. They could hear me screaming at him to stop and I eventually ran out with 1 article of clothing on crying to be with them as it was the only place I felt safe.
Needless to say we are now out of there and 3 y/o hasn't once asked to see her Dad. 20 month old has also not asked for his Dad but I believe he had started to take things on board.
This may be a bit different than your situation but if you are at all worried about your kids safety or emotional well being I would stress the point that it will not get any better and they probably already take on more than you know.
Best of Luck and look after the little one and yourself.
Aud.