I've Had Enough
I dont know if anyone can offer some advice on my situation. Ive been reading a few posts & can see pieces of my situation in others so I've decided to ask for advice myself.
My husband & I have been married for 11 months. We've been together 13 years He is an alchoholic & he knows he is (well some of the time). He has attempted an AA meeting but said he couldnt cope with the other attendees talking about how rubbish their lives were.
He drinks every day after he comes home from work. The pattern is usually he comes in & either drinks beer in the house or 'pops out for an hour' which inevitably means he's gone for at least 3 & comes home drunk.
I dont really know how to put everything into words. I'm so angry & frustrated because I have no-one to talk to about any of this. We dont live near any of my family & I dont have many friends mainly because we cant afford for us both to have a social life!
This week has been one in which I've been thinking a lot about things & I know I cant spend the rest of my life putting up with this type of exsistence. I've tried talking to him but it usually ends up in an argument with him turning things around on to me. A brief rundown of this week goes like this:
It was his birthday on monday, I had got him presents & a cake & had planned to take him out to dinner. When I told him the plan for the evening he told me he'd planned to go to the pub at the end of our street for a drink. He knows I never go to the pub because I dont think much of it in there & he is well aware of this so to my mind he knew I wouldnt go. He blew me & dinner out. I got upset when he was out. On tuesday he said he'd heard off his dad who had wanted to take him out for a birthday drink. I said I may as well be single for the amount of time we spend together so he sat on the couch drinking & sulked the whole night. We didnt talk much. Yesterday I got up & burst into tears.This isnt like me at all. We had an argument before I went to work. The whole thing was basically that I cant cope with this any more. He needs to show more interest in me. We havent shared a bed in 18 months because he usually passes out on the couch. He does occasionally find his way upstairs. I'm just so down about things. yesterday he was working late so he drank in the house when he got in. Tonight we were supposed to be cleaning the house in preparation for my family comming to visit this weekend. He 'popped out for an hour' becuse he'd had a rubbish day at work. He came back too late to help me then started to get really picky as if he was fishing for an argument. For some reason this happens a lot when he's been to the pub. I think it may have something to do with what he drinks when he's there. He made himself something to eat then passed out on the couch again. I'm married to a man I love but have no relationship with & will always come 2nd place to him getting drunk. This is just the short version of how I feel. Lonley, sad, angry, frustrated, trapped.