I found I was more comfortable with him when he was drinking- I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? I'm trying to figure out if it was because I was picking up on his discomfort with himself and with life in general when he was sober, or if it was because I was afraid he could see me more clearly when he was sober and might not like what he saw? Is my self esteem really that low?! In honesty he seemed a lot more into me while drunk, very affectionate and stuff, much more reserved when sober. It was very confusing,
WOW! that hit home for me. That was exactly how I felt about my xabf. it was so tense when he was sober. He was just faking (white knuckling) it the whole time and couldn't wait to relapse. I also felt that he was just so bored and uncomfortable in his own skin. He was much more fun loving and attentive when drunk. Until.....he wasn't. That's when I realized it had nothing to do with me or low self esteem on my end. It was him having to learn to deal with and accept life sober. He never gave it enough of a chance, or did the work it took to be a positive change. It's much less confusing for me now after I let him go.