Sounds like an exquisite analysis that includes a great depth of understanding on your part.
Your family is clearly functioning in deep denial, perhaps the only thing keeping them "together." What some people may not know is that denial is not absolute, and that in order for denial to exist and to "work," there must also be present a level of acknowledgement that something is terribly wrong. The deeper or stronger is the emotional wound we are protecting, the more defensive ("in denial") we become. The overriding defense in denial is against change ever occurring and the truth never being told.