Originally Posted by
chicory 
Bella,
I know that it hurts when others point out the negative, but this is coming from those who understand the pain of getting burned.. they would wish for you to run the other way, spare yourself the heartache and pain that may likely occur.
People do recover! Not all, maybe not the majority , as I understand it. But if you want to give it a go, then that is your decision. If it gets too painful, you can exit, knowing you tried. Please take care, If I may get personal, to wait on children, as that will only add an innocent child to a frightening situation. Like your friend... I would guess that she has experienced great pain from having an addicted father. She spoke from a place of pain. and does not wish the same for any one else, especially a child, as she mentioned. If she is a BF, forgive her, for her fears are legitimate.
Your boyfriend may recover, and as you said, it is not ever cured, and they must always be vigilant in protecting their recovery. For me, it is like building a house on unstable ground, always the chance that it can go bad.. But you are the one who has to decide, and you are smart enough to take care of yourself.
I wish you the best! and your boyfriend too.
Thank you Chicory. I am not bothered with a future involving kids with him, that's something I would never consider unless he had some serious clean time under his belt again, but that's neither here nor there. And you're right, I am the one who has to decide. I battle every day with whether things could eventually be okay enough for me to trust him again and go back to how we used to be, but I know that will never happen, this has permanently fractured our relationship. I'm just not ready to give up just yet. Not when he's currently doing so good, it doesn't seem right.
I know it will be a hard decision when that time comes, and I should probably leave now to save myself from extreme heartache since the odds are not in his favor, I know that's the logical thing to do .. But what if they are in his favor? I know it's not likely. His brother has 11 years clean, and he has a great support system, I'm hoping that helps.
But as I've said, I won't stick around if it happens again, I KNOW everyone says that ...
I'm just taking day by day and enjoying my time with my clean happy boyfriend. Whatever happens tomorrow, I'll deal with that then.
I always look forward to your posts Chicory, thank you.
