Hi liss
I remember when I stopped drinking feeling like I didn't know how to have / feel feelings if you know what I mean.
All of my life I had numbed the "bad" feelings with alcohol and now
that I wasn't drinking, I just felt . . . well. . "bad" and didn't know how to deal with that at first.
The funny thing was when I was ready, not the first few weeks, but finally I just went
ahead and sat down and felt "bad" and didn't judge it and just let it be and labeled the feelings as they came and went
"feeling guilty" "feeling unworthy" "feeling angry" and so on and just let them wash through my belly and heart in waves instead of suppressing them.
It was very strange at first but after a few times it felt like I was feeling them and then they were going away instead of being pushed down.
It's a classic mediation technique but very powerful.
I have come to the conclusion I just didn't know how to process negative feelings.
I had always drank them away in the past.
I'm glad I took the next step as my emotional load is so much lighter.
I do still feel empty much of the time but it doesn't hurt like it did.
I view that as progress. I never had to grow up in some ways while drinking
and now I am.
You're doing great. Hang in there.