Originally Posted by
zoso77 
My mentor taught me a valuable lesson way back in the day. If someone asks you for your opinion on something, ask that person, "Do you really want to know what I think?" And if they say yes, then you have permission to voice your opinion.
With that out of the way, as I speak as an impartial observer, your friend did raise legitimate questions. Could she have been more diplomatic in the way she did so? Sure. But maybe she's not capable at this point in her life of being that nuanced. A lot of people aren't.
My friends hated the decisions I made regarding my AXGF, right up to the end. But they understood why I made those decisions. They allowed me the right to be wrong, knowing that I was responsible to myself for whatever boneheaded calls I made, not them. So you're not responsible to your friend if things blow up in your face. You're responsible to yourself.
As for whatever issues your friend has regarding how she deals with her stuff in her life, that's her stuff, not yours.
What I would encourage you to do is think about what she said as dispassionately as you can and see if they're anything you can take from it. Sorta like the spirit of Al Anon -- take what you like and leave the rest.
Yeah. I know all her points were valid. I guess I just didn't expect her to be so harsh, even though her only experience is with her father.. And I know it's played a huge part in her life. I only wished she realized that not all addiction stories end badly, some people DO come out on top.. I know I shouldn't have said the hurtful things I said to her, I am stubborn, and will eventually apologize. I just thought I'd get more support from a best friend. It shouldn't have had to be asked for. Especially when she knows I've kept this to myself for a reason.