Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
My mentor taught me a valuable lesson way back in the day. If someone asks you for your opinion on something, ask that person, "Do you really want to know what I think?" And if they say yes, then you have permission to voice your opinion.
With that out of the way, as I speak as an impartial observer, your friend did raise legitimate questions. Could she have been more diplomatic in the way she did so? Sure. But maybe she's not capable at this point in her life of being that nuanced. A lot of people aren't.
My friends hated the decisions I made regarding my AXGF, right up to the end. But they understood why I made those decisions. They allowed me the right to be wrong, knowing that I was responsible to myself for whatever boneheaded calls I made, not them. So you're not responsible to your friend if things blow up in your face. You're responsible to yourself.
As for whatever issues your friend has regarding how she deals with her stuff in her life, that's her stuff, not yours.
What I would encourage you to do is think about what she said as dispassionately as you can and see if they're anything you can take from it. Sorta like the spirit of Al Anon -- take what you like and leave the rest.