Addicts and the blame game - posting to offload
My ex-partner of 4 years and I split a few weeks ago. He was injecting heroin. I've felt much better about it than I thought I would and have felt more relaxed, less stressed now that I've stopped checking to see if he's using and feeling exhausted with that. He texted me to say he's really upset and misses me but he will not get better unless he's on his own and I want to move on with my life because the last year has been hell.
The thing that bothers me is that his family came to see him last week and tried to persuade him to go into a rehab centre which he apparently adamantly refused. He's tried to convey to them that his relapse onto heroin is my fault because of an argument we had 2 years ago when I thought his behaviour towards another woman was inappropriate and he accused me of paranoia. I was unhappy with the fact that he was texting this woman to say he missed her with kisses on the end and calling her in the middle of the night. He said she was just a friend. I don't think I was unreasonable to question him about this but he keeps referring back to it as a reference point as to why he relapsed onto heroin. And I think his family believe it. I know I can't control what anyone else thinks but still I feel hurt by it.
So like I said, just posting to offload. He hadn't known his family were coming - they just turned up and I think he finds it easier to blame me.