Originally Posted by
misscostalot 
Thank you all for your replies to my post.
ahve always struggled with "self love" as I dont really know how to achieve this. I have always felt that the way I can love myself is if someone else does. . . and shows it. I am not a religious person at all and believe that it is down to me to fix this. . . I just don't know how to go about doing this.
Not drinking is the first step. . . will it help? I guess it can't hurt.
i was just like you when i first stopped drinking its taken many years for the way i feel today to change.
in fact i can put it down to my step 4 and 5 and dont worry about not being religious as i dont believe in god either and never will but i can still work the steps, just remove the word god in your mind and find something else to replase it with that you do believe in and for me it was aa as there the people who helped each day, there the ones i got all my answers from so it was easy to think i couldnt stop drinking on my own but when i went into aa i dont drink anymore so that was a power greater than me and its all you need
anyway doing step 4 and 5 nearly killed me and its been the closest i ever came to picking up a drink again
but it was the first time i had admitted to anyone all my bad things i had done in my life and it wasn't pretty either
after i did it the guy said to me now we forget all the past from today onwards
and from this day forward just try to not repeat the same things again
so be good from today on and each day you can
so thats what i agreed to do was just be as good as i can be
with doing good things in my life i started to learn how to care for other people
i worked with new comers and tried to help them instead of just going to a meeting to moan how bad i was feeling today i changed but i had to put the work in daily and keep on doing it when i didnt want to do it
after many years of this its now become a part of me its now part of my nature and i like it
hence i now see myself as a good person and i like myself for it
its hard work but totaly worth the effort
once we put the drink down then the real work comes into play
dont know if you can follow me with this post as i have just tried to show you how i have ended up liking myself today
there is no magic to it i dont change over night it takes a lot of time and work on myself to get there
now i truely enjoy what i do and i know i can still do bad things but it will not last long as my head will soon tell me i owe someone an apology etc but thats ok that normal living as before i would of done things wrong or upset people and never say sorry as it was there fauly or they deserved it lol
i hope it helps