Hi Finch - welcome
You sound like a lot of us here - just ordinary people with a problem they can't seem to fix on their own...not bad people, but good people who sometimes made some pretty crazy decisions
SR really helped me - there's a lot of support and wisdom here - and more important the stories and threads I read convinced me that I couldn't be a normal drinker,. but I could live without alcohol and be happy.
I really hope you'll let us help you too
D