My addict is my elderly sister who lives with me. I am going through the same questions, for which I do not have the answers yet either. Being in close proximity to an addict, dry or not, changes you. I waited so long that I now have the "family of" emotional issues to deal with. My husband has been showing early signs of hyper-vigilence ... addiction, the gift that keeps on giving. I finally tried al anon, it is helping, but it is a process. I am pretty sure my sister will have to leave just that I am not quite there yet.
Good luck... hard choices.