Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
I think people are just cautioning you, don't be a runaway train.
Amends, in the 12-step tradition, are number 9. There is a reason they aren't in the early steps, so that you can truly work on yourself, understand what the amend process is supposed to do, and recognize when an amend does more harm than good.
If I was wanting to make amends with a ex-girlfriend, and I'm talking about me, I'd be looking close at motivation.
That's me. You do what you feel you must do. Good luck.
Originally Posted by
ScottFromWI Re-read this very carefully. It says a lot about your motivation for this meeting tomorrow.
Nothing you can say to anyone is going to fix what you've done in the past, no matter how you say it.
I guess my motivation is this. We were getting closer and closer in our relationship and I was ready to take it to the next level (say the L word haha) and really have a serious talk about us as a couple. I was getting ready to admit to her that I had a drinking problem and within that same week she broke up with me for a completely unrelated reason! I never got the chance to say it. Now that I'm clean, I wanna say it to her. (That I had a drinking problem, not use the " L word" haha). I mean I don't know how this is going to go down, but the plan is to have the talk and then we're gonna get dinner. I'm going to call it a celebration dinner. With someone I care about-- or at least I used to. She may react badly, or not care at all. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. But I do know that come Thursday morning. I will have said it to her face that I have a drinking problem. Maybe she will be nice and say "keep in touch let me know how you are doing" maybe she will say "I don't know why you are meeting with ME I'm your EX." Most likely she will be inbetween those two extremes. But however she reacts, come thursday morning. I'll have admitted it to her. She may feel happy that she was in my life to help.
I don't really know about the 12 steps. I've read them in the past and they are very spiritual and I'm a scientist. I'm not really into that type of stuff.