Serper2014

In my early days of drinking, nobody knew how bad it was. Very slowly my parents found out, then my brothers, then my closest friends, then friends that weren't quite as close. When I was at my worst as far as drinking was concerned I met a really nice girl. She has her doctorate she's a very well educated and proper girl. Her family is rich, she's had a perfect life...everything has been handed to her. Two months into our new relationship. I broke the cycle. I had drank for 446 nights in a row. She didn't know this, but I did it for her. I knew that if she ever found out about my drinking the relationship would be over. I continued spending the next 6 months of our relationship trying not drink. I would drink every few days, and she is completely unaware that I'm an alcoholic. She broke up with me due to racial issues with her family (She's originally from the eastern part of the globe.) This whole time I was trying to not drink for her, and when she left. My drinking came back HARD. I missed 17 days of work. It was in this period that I realized that she was the beautiful motivation that got me to reduce my drinking (hey I wasn't drinking every night anymore!) Ultimately, I needed to quit for myself.

I like to say this.
I've discontinued drinking many times.
I quit drinking only once.


I'm sober now, and I'm doing excellent. I'm making amends with all of the people I hurt. Does anyone have experience in this? I most of all want to make amends with my ex. Mostly because she is the one person in my life that I've never told. I don't know if I should call it making amends.. I never did anything bad to her, except lie lie lie lie lie. Which didn't hurt her, because she never found out. I haven't seen her or talked to her in over two months. We're meeting in about 24 hours. She was very skeptical about meeting with me because I didn't disclose any details about why I wanted to meet. I just said that it was very important. Do I still have feelings for her? I don't know. I might be feeling a bit stronger for her right now because I'm newly sober. I feel like I love everyone right now, even YOU! So thanks for reading this! I think it's going to be a huge relief off of my chest to tell her tomorrow that I'm an alcoholic and I'm recovering. It's also probably going to hurt a lot. She's a very very beautiful girl--Definitely out of my league haha. I suspect she is going to say "I'm glad you are recovering, but I think we should not meet up agian/I can't be your friend/ I won't be there for you while you are recovering." She has that type of personality--why do you think I never told her in the first place?

Any tips or suggestions? I'd really appreciate. Thank you for any suggestions.
I love you all. Stay tuned because I'm going to keep posting updates as my "making amends week" unfolds.

-Serper2014