Originally Posted by
outcast 
i may have to tell my wife, it is to tough to do on my own
It's not only tough on our own, it's sometimes impossible. I'd highly recommend being honest with your wife about it, it was a great relief for me to do the same.
Don't be afraid to try things like AA/NA or read up on things like AVRT/Smart Recovery, etc. Every single one of them is full of people exactly like you who just want to get better. Same thing with SR, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, we've all been there before.