Flavia - it is emotional abuse. It's called silent treatment and it is 100% emotional abuse. My XABF used to do it to me and it tormented the hell out of me.
The Silent Treatment Emotional Abuse in Relationships/ marriage - how to cope.
"Often used by narcissists, silence can be a form of emotional abuse and as such it is unacceptable. Often, the person giving the silent treatment does so because they want (consciously or unconsciously) their victim to feel unworthy, to appease them, or to feel guilty about something. Alternatively they may want their victim to apologise for something, even though often they choose not to clarify what it is actually wrong!"
I'd read the article on the website there. He does it to make you worried and anxious and then when he does eventually speak to you, you are so relieved that you are willing to do anything to make sure that he doesn't do it again. It's a form of control and manipulation.
When he comes home, act normal as if he hasn't been away. It'll throw him for a loop that you aren't fawning over him. If it is obvious that he has been drinking, ask him to leave. You must focus on yourself and your kids. If your kids see their dad (I'm assuming this so please correct me if I'm wrong! :P) abusing their mum, they will see that as normal behaviour and will behave like that in the future, towards you, towards their future partners, towards anyone that cares about them. If you are worried that he will get violent, either have a phone ready to call the police (even if he is shouting, whatever, get him out of the house) or have a bag packed for you and your kids and have somewhere that you can go.
If he hasn't done this since he stopped drinking, then you may have to face up to the fact that he is drinking again. I hope he is not, but this abuse is not OK. It took me a few times to realise this, so please don't accept it for yourself. You are worth much more than that, and deserve someone who is going to respect you and what you want.
Big hugs, and be strong!