Hi Sunny welcome, I too had a lightbulb moment when I realized all the issues in our marriage surrounded AH's drinking and how did I not realize this before.How did I not know he was an alcoholic? My A hides his drinking too.
Unfotunately life with an A is full of surprises. The best thing you can do now is to focus on you and getting yourself help. Have you tried AlAnon? You would benefit greatly fom it. You have absolutely no control over your husband and how or when he may drink again. You can only focus on yourself. Hang in there, I am so much stronger now than when I first came here. Feel free to post anytime. We understand what you are going through.