Hey, newdad -
Your original post really struck home for me. I'm 28 and have a wife. My daughter is approaching her first birthday and last Friday night was my big wake-up call. Like you, I haven't gone without a drink for longer than 2 days during the past 6 months or so. I would routinely drink 5 or 6 beers on my way home from work every night. Then I would continue to drink a beer or two after getting home. My wife had no idea. Last Friday I met a friend out for a few pints after work. I was to be home early with pizza for my wife and I as we had plans to decorate the Christmas tree. Well, those few pints turned into about 8 beers (maybe more, I lost count) and I didn't get home until almost 9. My wife gave me a well-deserved tongue lashing and it was then that I broke down and admitted to her (and myself) that I had a problem. She called my parents and I was soon the phone with them, spilling my guts about all the sneaking around and drunk-driving I had been doing. The next morning my wife and I had a long talk. She had no idea I had this problem. I have a lot going for me in my life ... a great wife, great job, great home and a beautiful daughter who we almost lost to pulminary hypertension during the first months of her life. Anyway, I couldn't believe I was admitting that I had a drinking problem and that I was an alcoholic. I attended my first AA meeting this past Tuesday and it was so surreal. The stories I heard about other people's drinking habits hit home and I truly realized then that I wasn't alone but that it had to stop. I went 4 days without a drink and then had that celebratory binge on the way home from work Wed. night. I drank 6 beers and was scared to death my wife would notice. She didn't but I was very disappointed in myself. Like you, I couldn't resist thinking about the great buzz I would get.
I guess the point of my story is that you are not alone. Alcoholism does not discriminate among rich, poor, race or education. It can affect anyone and it hits you like a sledghammer the first time you realize you have a problem. Hang in there and remember what a wonderful family you have. You owe it to them to stop drinking. I keep telling myself the same thing. It's so hard, though, so keep coming back to this board and try going to an AA meeting. It was scary as hell for me but I am so glad I did it and I'm going to keep going back.
Keep in touch and try your best to stay sober!