Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
It isn't just the drinking in front of the kids that deals damage, it's the secrecy, the shame, the anger, the lying, and the constant UNCONSCIOUS reinforcement of the idea that my mother's unhappiness was all my fault, that I could fix it if only I did better.
This. In an alcoholic home children are taught Don't Talk, Don't Think, Don't Feel. If only you were quieter, mommy wouldn't drink. If only you had gotten better grades. If only you hadn't bothered her after 7:00. If only youYOU
YOU... We're led to believe that we are the problem, but no matter what we do, it never stops. We're never good enough. And the sick part is that most of us still desire that recognition, that affirmation that we are good enough from our A parent. And we carry this into our relationships with our spouses and children. Unless we get into recovery ourselves, the cycle just continues until someone stops.