I think that when I am mired in self pity, I am living as a victim. Life happened tat me and there was nothing I could do. Some malicious force is acting against me and I have been wronged. I have been harmed and stepped on and it's effing personal.
When I experience self compassion, I accept the pain that I have experienced and I let it become a part of my life story. I'm like a sieve. Pain and hurt and anger wash over me but instead of hoarding them, I let them get me wet but pass through. They still touch me and I get wet but I don't hold onto them and guard them and use them to keep myself drowning in misery. I am not a victim. I am human and these negative experiences are part of humanity. If I let them go, using acceptance and forgiveness, I let myself experience the sunshine of the universe and become dry again.
Self pity is hurt without acceptance or forgiveness. Self compassion is hurt with love, acceptance and forgiveness.