Originally Posted by gracette

Hi all,

I was on here a few months back, when I had my first real experience with admitting to myself that I might have a problem with alcohol. I found so much support and was able to stop drinking for about 3 weeks, but then fell victim to the "I can just drink once a month" or whatever rationalizing way of thinking. I think part of me always knew that was BS, because even though I told myself it was a good plan, I was ashamed to come here and post.

Long story short, I ended up on a bit of a bender, and the withdrawal symptoms kept getting worse. At the end of last week I was experiencing some shaking and cravings and severe anxiety attacks until I would drink again. That was scary and another wake up call. I'd been severely depressed while I'd been drinking too, almost suicidal.

I've been sober 2.5 days now, and saw a therapist today for the first time in years. She encouraged me to go to a meeting and gave me a list of some to try. I hope I can work up the guts to do that this week, but I'm not sure, to be honest. I guess at least I know now that staying sober will be more difficult than I thought it would be in the rush of excitement about changing my life that characterized my first attempt. I'm not excited about this battle but I know it's one I need to fight.

I hope anyone reading this is doing well, or hanging in there. I'm so glad you're all here and that this place exists.