Nuudawn... you and I have walked this path again and again for some time now. I know its hard to remember, when you are in the thick of things, that this too shall pass. Everything you are feeling right now might not feel the same tomorrow. We both know that Drinking wont help anything, its our addictive voice which lies to us saying how much better we will feel with a few in us....and its never true, and its never just a few. Pick yourself up again, and keep walking your good path. Its progress, not perfection.