There's a lot of AV there Nuu - and not a lot of the strong confident funny woman I know and admire.
There's one thing you can do today and thats not drink or drug. And do the same tomorrow....and again...and again.
It may not solve any of your other problems but it will give you a sharper perception after a little while...and I think you'll also find an increased capacity then to help you deal with the other stuff.
You eat an elephant one bite at a time
*no pachyderms were harmed in the writing of this post
D