Originally Posted by jellybean80

I have drank most everyday of my life for the last 13 years except when I was pregnant with my two daughters. Wine was my choice and was my mothers choice and her mother as well. I have had pretty horrible things happen to me throughout my life and now that I'm a mother and wife I can put those behind me.

The last two years have been the hardest. My husband works a lot and I take care of my two small children. The stress has gotten to me and I just can't stop obsessing over alcohol. I wake up feeling horrible and counting down the hours until I can drink. I barely speak to my husband and my now 5 year old has gotten smart. She asks "is Dad going to get your wine?" or "are you drinking wine again?".

Two weeks ago I got completely drunk as usual and started feeling suicidal. I would NEVER kill myself because I am a mom and I would never leave my girls. BUT just the fact that I was thinking what a relief it would be to not feel the obsession I was feeling was scary.

I went to a nurse practitioner who put me on Zoloft. I haven't drank in 2 weeks and feel so hopeful for the future. I am glad to be on here to chat and talk with those going through the same thing.