Thanks Seren, I think you're right. They (the in-laws & AM) have this "bond" that, in most ways, is not normal, so she probably would see it as a victory of sorts. It has occurred to us that perhaps the reason she insisted on telling SD she was seeing her grandparents despite knowing how SD felt about it, was some sort of sick ploy to drive a wedge between them & us so she can have them all to herself. She's always been able to twist them around her little finger to extort money from them etc., so she needs to keep them on side. It wouldn't surprise me if she'd said to them that if she started drinking again it would be SD's fault!